Study Sessions: Kitten and The Blonde One

Welcome to a very special edition of the Kitten Blog.  

Today's post is a recap of my exam study sessions!  

Now, hear me out.  I know that might sound even more boring than watching paint dry, grass grow,  any baseball game, etc., but you would be wrong.  To help me make it through exam time without losing all sanity, I frequently invited friends over to study with me.  This led to many ridiculous Kitten/friend interactions, which I thoroughly documented.

A lot went down during exams, so I'm going to share my stories in two posts.  Here's the first:

Kitten and The Blonde One

Let me give you some history about The Blonde One.  One time, I took Kitten to the Blonde One's house when my apartment was under some repairs and I couldn't have a cat hanging around.  Kitten did not have a good time. 

At The Blonde One's house, Kitten hid behind the couch or under the bed the entire time.  When I went to retrieve him, he had to be lured out from under the bed.  Apparently, he had not used the litter box once... in three days.  I don't even know how this is possible, but she never did find any accidents, so I can only assume Kitten absorbed everything during that time.  

Now, you would think this incident would traumatize Kitten and instil a fear of The Blonde One in him.  It did not.

Kitten immediately took to his weird humping routine with her.  

Pictures aren't good enough? Here is a video of the deed going down.

This isn't the first time that Kitten has been weird with my friends, and it sure wasn't the last time this happened during exams (but I'll tell you more about that in my next post).  Below you can see that once he is done using my friend, he has a tendency to go and expose himself somewhere nearby.  Like, close enough they can see, but not so close that it is 100% obvious that he is doing it for their benefit.

If you are super interested in the whole weird process, here is a video of what happens after the humping.  And it literally happens every time. No jokes.

After Kitten's seduction attempt failed, he decided to check out some shit outside.  

This was all fine and dandy until The Blonde One thought it would be funny to get back at Kitten for violating her.

As if that wasn't enough, The Blonde One then decided that Kitten was the perfect tool to clean my windows with.  Though, I can't really argue with her.  He did a pretty damn good job.

To be fair, Kitten deserved this.  

Like I've said before, he can be quite the jerk (I'm going to give some more detail about this in a future post), and it's really only karma coming for him.  

He also needs to learn that his behaviour around my friends is wholly inappropriate.  I mean, if Kitten were a person, he would be charged with a criminal offence for his actions. Unfortunately, Kitten is dumb and cannot grasp the concept of social norms, let along object permanence. 

After The Blonde One used Kitten as a window cleaner, she decided to try to play with him.  However, her concept of "play" seemed to be chasing Kitten around in a frenzied way, causing him to become quite agitated and panicked.  

Here is the video I took before I started yelling at her to stop:

Well, that was the post about The Blonde One.  

Next post I'll tell you all about Kitten's study adventures with Elena.  Elena is much kinder than The Blonde One. Instead of tormenting Kitten she helped him with some personal higiene issues and actually played with him.

Sadly, kindness tends to go unnoticed by Kitten, who humped her as well.